Streamlining

George Bricker

Candide: I want my comments to be construed under the best possible light! (Candide has wild, curly hair, dark, bushy eyebrows, a voice thinner than the one he puts on to go on the air, bloodshot eyes and pale skin. He speaks rare languages. Back home he worked in a formally similar agency, he says, covering the sub-Saharan countries. He translated, by himself, the newscast, the communiqués, the features, even the forecast, and voiced, by himself, the scripts in all the sub-Saharan languages: 10 minutes each show. True, that was under a dictatorial regime which could banish him to the hinterland if he didn’t perform well, but that taught him efficiency. He is quick and that’s what got him this job. The MIC himself scouted him out on one of his field trips. The agency brought him over in a jiffy, with the help of the Directorate of Communications, of course. They twisted an arm or two in the Directorate of Immigration and served Candide his permanent residency card on a tray a few years after his arrival. Candide does not really like his new country but he likes it better than his old country. Candide’s son is doing so well in school there is a rumor he may be going to one of the prestigious universities. Injecting himself with the notion that he is a failure, Candide, wily even in his sleep, has preempted the traumas that may follow real failures and pinned his ambition on his son.) It seems to me that the democrats are ubiquitous in our shows. (He means the democrats back home, where labels mean nothing and the democrats can be autocrats. See, all we do is try and teach our, sorry to say, unenlightened listeners back home how to report in a balanced and objective way on what interests them the most. And politics is what interests them most, after money. That’s because things are not going so well there and there’s fear the country may backslide into chaos and anarchy.)

The MIC: Of course, your comment will be construed under the best possible light. You have given a lot to the agency and the least we owe you is an opportunity to speak your mind. But I disagree with what you are saying. I think that is an unsubstantiated statement! (The MIC is convinced that only the democrats can rescue his old country from the abyss although they have been in power during the entire time the country was nearing the abyss. He is convinced balance in journalism is secondary to dialectics. Dialectically speaking, he says, the democrats are the force of the future. Economically speaking, says a CC whose anonymity I will betray only if offered CC status by the MIC, the MIC has invested his savings in companies tied to the democratic government.) Anyone else wants to say something on this topic?  Next page