Streamlining

George Bricker

He is pacing up and down his office, adds a CC. I know. I’ve noticed he comes out after all the common characters have convened around the debriefing table and exhausted their pleasantries but I am new around here and I have to feign amazement each time a CC tells me things I already know. You see, I am a probationary common character, a PCC, which is a step lower than a CC (a stool which a CC steps on each time he reaches for higher performance) and no more than a new face to the MIC. The MIC relishes making the CCs wait for him around the lacquered table. But today he is later than usual. There must be something extremely important, explains a CC. The others itch, scratch, cross their legs, comb their hair, share tricks about paying less taxes. Finally the MIC walks out of his office. He walks with bold steps toward the briefing table. The neon lights reflect on his immaculately bald head. His smile is contagious, his mustache waxed. His eyes circle the room, the characters, their note pads, their hands. He towers above the computers, the desks, the ergonomic chairs and the open umbrella that a CC has left near the door. He glances over at the umbrella. The CC sitting next to me jumps to his feet, rushes to where the umbrella is, closes it and puts it under his desk. The MIC sits on his chair which is guarded by the team leader, of course.

The MIC: Good morning! (With lightning speed and perfect stealth I grab a cotton swab, the kind I use to clean the heads of the cassette recorders, and scrub my ears vigorously but there is nothing wrong with my ears. A stubborn fact hits me, again, like a brick and then sinks slowly into my head: the MIC has the voice of an eight-year-old, pre-pubescent girl – nasal, shrieky sharp, oily soft. I know about the voice but the knowledge evaporates each time the MIC walks out of his office and swoops down to the lacquered table.) It has come to my attention (he stretches the word "my" until it assumes mythical proportions) that some staffers think (he lowers the voice until it reaches the carpet) that we are disproportionately favoring the democrats in our shows! Candide!  Next page